A God Moment

March 23, 2012
Dumalang, my wonderful friends! I apologize for my absence from cyberspace, but I had a fantastic week!
Oh, my, where do I even begin! Okay, well, I have wanted to get a head start on my ethnography for quite some time now. The people group that my supervisor, Father James Amanze chose for me is the Batlokwa, the largest tribe in Botswana, whose center is located in the town, Tolkweng, close to the South African border. The town is just about a few kilometres from Gaborone, where I live. Father Amanze pointed out that doing research on this localized group would be easier than trying to find an equivalent group in Gaborone, due to the fact that most people are mixtures of several tribes. I was glad about this, but even more when 3 weeks ago I actually met a 22 year old girl named Rorisang, who happens to be from the Batlokwa Tribe and lives in Tolkweng! I told her I needed to research the Batlokwa, as part of my academic studies. She was eager to help, and told me that she would be happy to set up an appointment with one of the chiefs as soon as possible. If you know Africa time, you know that it can be a LONG time before “as soon as possible” happens!
I got my first appointment on Friday the 16th- well, that is, I did have an appointment, but unfortunately it rained the entire night before and a good deal the morning of the 16th. At about 9 am, as Monica and I were preparing to leave, Rorisang called to say that the chief doesn’t handle this wet weather very well, and as a result he had to be taken to the hospital after suffering from an asthma attack. After hearing this Monica and I went on to St. Peter’s. The teachers and children were a little surprised to see us, since I had told them that I wasn’t going to be there that day, but since my other appointment was cancelled, they were pleased to have us there. I was greeted with the usual “Dumela, Auntie Minda,” as all the children come up to me, and start fighting for who will get to kiss me on the cheek first. This is especially true when it came to the little boys. The helpers have told me that some of them have little crushes on me. Cute! Since it was a rainy day, the children played in the courtyard rather than on the muddy playground. Goodness, did we have fun though! The kids introduced me to a lot of new children’s songs in Setswana and some new dances. Monica took lots of pictures while the kids grabbed my wheelchair to get me to join in the fun! A wonderful way to celebrate a rainy day I must say!
As for the Passion play I’m helping direct, the kids seem really to understand their parts and the whole thing is coming together rather well. I think it will be wonderful to see the children acting out the events of Holy Week and Easter since I am so far from home in this important season. Of course, the Easter services at the Cathedral will be excellent, but I love sharing all this with the children, since my nieces and nephews are near the same ages!
All in all it ended up a good day, even though it started out a disappointment. Amazing how God works!
Anyway, we had rescheduled for the following Monday, so I prepared myself with my notebook containing some questions I had for him. Just as the taxi was pulling up, Rorisang called and said that she had just found out that the chief wanted me to write out exactly what I wanted to do. He also required a letter making me promise not to exploit the Batlokwa people in any way. He wanted me to put it in writing that this was just an ethnography project for my school. Of course I didn't know this beforehand, and I did not have it ready! So it was discouraging, and the fact that the taxi was waiting outside did not make things easier, either! We rescheduled for the next day. Meanwhile, I had the taxi driver take us to Riverwalk, because I was low on some groceries anyway, and even though I knew that I needed to do that shopping, I couldn’t help feel disappointment. However, little did I know that something really wonderful was about to happen - something that I couldn’t have expected!
As I was going down one of the aisles, a met a woman named Lerato, also from Tolkweng. She knew about me from a trip Sandy and I had made to visit the Dream Center, a school for the disabled, where she works. She had been wanting to talk to me anyway, since she had heard about the ethnography paper, so she asked if I could talk that very afternoon! I WAS ECSTATIC Of course I was delighted, so we got together and talked almost 2 hours - just about the importance of family in the Batlokwa tribe. It was all amazing! As it happens she used to date one of the Batlokwa chiefs that I’m interviewing! TOTALLY GOD, NO?! She said that she would drive me over to visit the chief the next day, saving us another taxi ride. She also knows Rorisang, because she (Lerato) used to attend the same church as Rorisang!
So on Tuesday I gathered up my things once again, along with my reassurance letter for the chief. The day looked very promising, and indeed it was! Lerato came to the flat to collect me and Monica at half past 8, and headed to Tlokweng for our 10 appointment with the chief; we picked up Rorisang on the way. By the time we got there, the chief was still in a meeting in the Kgotla (the meeting house) with some people. Rorisang, Monica, Lerato, and I sat under the shade and waited and spoke mostly Setswana, which is also the tribal language of the Batlokwa. It is now the national language. As we were sitting there talking I couldn’t help noticing the large golden-brown statue of their great chief, Gaborone, for which the capitol city of Botswana is named. He was a strong man, and apparently a strong leader, too. Unfortunately, we were not allowed to photograph the statue or anything else for that matter. It was fun nonetheless to look at everything.
Finally at about 11 the chief was ready to talk with us, but instead of taking us to the Kgotla where there were no tables for me to write on, the chief brought us into his very nice air-conditioned office. I gave him my reassurance letter, and signed it in his presence. He complimented me on my handwriting and seemed surprised that I could hold the pen between my chin and arm. Once this was done we went straight to the interview. He told me the fascinating story of how the Batlokwa came out of South Africa along with many other people groups because of the tribal wars that were taking place in the early 1800’s. Our long conversation went really well, and the history of the tribe, especially fascinated me.
There is one brief story that I thought was interesting that I will share here. All of the Botswana tribes’ people have a totem. The Batlokwa totem is the Antbear. It once was the leopard, but during the migration from South Africa to Bechuanaland, they became extremely thirsty and as they pressed on further and further the more their thirst increased. Then they saw a dog coated with mud and the people became hopeful because they knew that they were somewhere close to water. They followed the dog which led them to a hole full of water, which turned out to be the home of an Antbear. They believed that this Antbear had saved their lives and for that reason, the Batlokwa changed their totem from the leopard to the Antbear. Pretty cool story!
There is so much to learn about these incredible people. Lerato and Rorisang are going to help me set up more interviews with various older Batlokwa who really remember the “was it was” before independence. I also want to talk to younger ones to see how important the tribal affiliation is to them now. It’s all good. I am very happy to be here -
Okay, that is all for now!
Ke o Rata (I love you)! Minda

THE HELP

March 11, 2012

Dumalang, my wonderful friends!

Well the beginning of the week was definitely the most difficult time I’ve had since I’ve been here. Finding the right sort of hired help, someone who can help me physically throughout the week and also be a companion and language tutor has been a very unpleasant struggle. After I had to fire Ntebeleng on the last day of February because she just wasn’t getting the work done for either of us, Sandy and I started looking for someone new. As I mentioned in my last blog, Elsie ended up being a better cleaning lady than she was helper for me. So we did hire her for that and she is working out very well indeed! But after realizing that Elsie wasn’t going to manage for me, we started looking around again. Sandy knew a young woman, just 21 years old, looking for a job. I met her a week ago on Saturday, and we got along just fine. She’s a jewelry-maker, and she told me that she would be happy to show me how to make some of the beaded things she makes. She was eager also to help me with Setswana. However, when she didn’t show up either Monday or Tuesday, it became obvious that either she did not take the job very seriously in the first place, or that she just didn’t quite understand how much I needed her to be regular and dependable.

Whatever the reason, it left me back at square one! Our internet is down completely at the flat which did not help the matter at all. I was having trouble contacting anyone here (we use facebook and email in Botswana too, you know!)
I got pretty discouraged and by Tuesday morning I had a minor meltdown - I had places I needed to go – and no helper showed up! I was in the middle of doing my laundry, and I kept thinking that there was something wrong and that the “something” was probably me. I went through things that I thought I might have said wrong, worried about whether it was because they have to help me to the bathroom, or whether it was just too hard for them to be seen with me in public, etc. I was literally ready to cry, and I felt upset for myself, and also bad for Sandy because of all the time she was putting into helping me resolve this, using time to she needed to do her own work. And yet nothing was working out with hiring the right “help.”

It’s been a real inconvenience to both of us; Sandy cannot be my help as well as taking care of her own duties! And we are friends first, not helper and employer! So I didn’t want to make that relationship hard for her or for me. Needless to say I was not in the most positive of moods. It was just one of those moments when I felt the frustration of having a disability, and not being able to fix it. If I didn’t have this disability I would never have the issue of having to find someone to help me with my personal needs. I could just, “Do it myself!” Of course, I had to remember that it is because of my disability that I am even here – that I have something to SAY to these people about the faithfulness of God! And then I felt bad all over again because I could see I was just feeling sorry for myself and not trusting God even though I know He can be trusted. So it was one of those moments in which I had to cry out to the Lord and say, “O Father help me!”

It was in this moment that I mentally turned to Psalm 23: The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters. He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness For His name’s sake. I had to just accept that this was one of those dark valleys that I will have to walk, well, roll, through… but I WILL roll through it. And he WILL be with me. So I dried my eyes and began again.
We asked Mma Florence from the Anglican Women’s Fellowship to help us find someone else, and on the same day I got a call from Doctor Howard Moffat, saying that he knew of a Motswana lady who once worked at Princess Marina Hospital as a nurse’s assistant and was now looking for another job. Her name was Monica, in her late 40’s. She actually received her education in Zimbabwe before there were many good schools in Botswana. .

But Mma Florence had found a woman too, who could work for me, named Esther. So now I had a different problem – TWO possible helpers! I would have to choose one of them. Again, “Lord, help me!”
On Thursday I decided to have Monica come over for the morning, and have her work with me, helping me get prepared for the day, and practicing taking me to Riverwalk – Since so much happens there, this is an essential! Then in the afternoon, I asked Esther to come and I’d just do the whole process over again. That way I could make a wiser decision.

Well, Monica came at about 8 o’clock on Thursday morning and having been a nurse’s assistant for 20 years she had no problem at all falling right into the flow of helping me with showering and dressing. She was also very good at handling the wheelchair, and being a well built, strong woman she had no difficulty lifting the chair over bumps or steps, even with the groceries we’d bought hanging on the back! She was also quite interested in helping me improve my Setswana, correcting me from the beginning, working on everything – making me say things exactly correctly – from greetings, buying food in the store, introducing myself and just talking to people. She’s really wanting me to learn it right. She’s tall, with broad shoulders and a beautiful round face. Not only that, she is really bright, which is very helpful. She can figure out what to do quickly. She left around 11:30, and then Esther came in at around 12 o’clock.

Esther was an older woman in her mid-sixties, also tall but pretty thin; very beautiful. I liked her right away. She did not have the broad shoulders that Monica did, nor was she as strong as Monica. But she was certainly strong enough to lift the chair over the steps in and out of the flat. So I wasn’t sure what to do. Her English is not as good as Monica’s either, which was good because it forced me to speak more, but on the other hand it made things a bit more difficult when it came to explaining: “You need to just position yourself beside the chair while providing some support for my arms as I lift myself off…” My biggest concern was the fact that she is a diabetic. That made me a little uncomfortable, because I wasn’t sure how she would manage physically in the long run when we are not always able to eat regularly because of our schedule. Her age, I have to admit, was another concern to me because I felt that she would get tired very quickly and maybe have trouble in the heat now, and the cold by June and July.

At the end of the day I had to make the decision – But who did I want to officially hire? I enjoyed my time with each of them immensely, both of them could help me now, and both would be good for language learning. So the decision was not an easy one to make, and I didn’t much like being in this position.
But the fact that Monica was younger, was healthy and more physically fit finally made me choose her. I didn’t like having to tell Esther that she was not getting the job, but she seemed okay with it and showed no hard feelings.

Monica came the next morning right on time, and helped me get ready without having to be told anything. She remembered the routine almost perfectly. When we got to St Peter’s, it was obvious that she enjoyed the children and they seemed to enjoy her a lot as well. At the same time, she was watchful to see if I needed her, left me alone when I didn’t and came immediately if I did. She is very aware.

At the moment, the 4 year old children are learning about the human body and that day they were studying feet. The activity was putting their feet in paint then putting feet to the paper! I helped wash their feet when they were finished putting them in the paint. It was so much fun watching the children squeal with delight when they saw their foot print in red or blue paint! I probably was giggling harder than all the children put together! Monica was flashing pictures wildly until my camera battery died - Oh, well – I MUST remember to charge the thing!
What was a lot of fun was to watch her interact with Gladys Mudereri, the director. They are both well- educated and sharp! They have a lot in common, so Monica was enjoying herself even when I didn’t need her. Once they got talking they didn’t stop! So, I think this is all for the better.

I saw something I hadn’t really understood before, and this week has really helped me to realize it. For more than a week I’ve been praying, and looking for, The Help for my personal needs. (That’s a terrific book, by the way.) I needed to hire a person who could assist me in my daily activities while I’m here. I can’t go anywhere, or do much of anything here without The Help. We are always talking around here about “hiring help,” or referring to “the help,” but I suddenly saw that I was actually talking to THE HELP – in all capitals! The whole time! He is the one who gives us life, opens doors and windows, and prepares us for fresh starts and new beginnings, and who makes us clean each day. He is really what I need. When I cry for help, He is always there to answer. God is THE HELP who will never go away nor get tired or lazy or try to manipulate me or the situation. God is, and will always be here! Always it is GOD!

Okay, so I knew that. But now I KNOW it differently. So now I can sing again, happily, “Great is thy faithfulness!”

Ke o Rata (I love you)!
Minda

God's Timing

March 1, 2012
February is finished. Another month has gone by. It’s hard to believe that another month of my time here is already done. How incredible it is to me that so much can be accomplished, so many surprising events can occur, so many new faces can become familiar, and so many relationships can be built in such a short time. After realizing this, it makes me see how important it is to value time. I’m not saying "clock time" necessarily, but rather, we need to value the time we share with others. It is easy to say, "Oh, I don’t need to talk to this person right now." I know I am not the only one who puts things on the back burner because it’s so much easier to do than to make time for people when so much else seems to be more important right then. As I look back now, I see that I did this a lot back at home in the states. I would put off time with various friends who mattered to me, and who sometimes needed to talk, and then regretted not taking that time to listen and share with them. But being in Africa has deepened my understanding of how important it is to value every moment we have with someone. Rather than just brushing off opportunities to develop strong relationships, I find myself more and more embracing them, because once the chance is gone, it is gone, and it won’t ever come back. I see how many chances God gives us to shine His light on the people we encounter, how He gives us words to share, and how sometimes I haven’t obeyed, or have missed the cues God gave me.
I have seen in my time here the many opportunities that He has given me to share His unending love with others. God has blessed me so much in my work at St. Peters Daycare Center. I’ve had a wonderful opportunity to teach and to learn from children who have suffered. Some have lost family members to AIDS. Together we are looking at the love of Jesus in the Bible, and I am trying to help them trust Him (and the staff!) to be Lord of their lives. A few years ago I could not have seen myself in this position. How could I help anyone? Would people even take me seriously? God’s answer was "yes, you can encourage my people, and they will take you seriously because of what I am doing in you, because of who you are in ME." And that’s why it’s very important to accept with an open heart every chance He offers us to show others what He is like through our own obedience. The staff and Mma Mudereri have told me how much God’s love radiates out from me, and that even children see it. Wouldn’t it be a real sadness if I had refused such a wonderful opportunity to share the good news with children in a way that lets them see that He is good and can use ANYONE who is willing to be used by Him! I think we should change the "service project" to the "honor project!" It is an incredible honor to be asked to do anything at all for the Lord Jesus, and it brings honor to Him to try to obey his invitation to be His messenger.
Last week I also visited Cheshire again, and met with Rra Mabusa, who is in charge of the Cheshire Center. It was terrific! I also met with two women, Mma Leleti, who is in charge of the staff, and Mma Catherine who advocates for the disabled who live there. Together we took a look at the plan I am developing for teaching a class on Scripture as it relates to the disabled, showing them to be created in the image of God exactly like anyone else. We want to discuss what that means for the church, for the disabled, for those who work with them. We talked about the scriptures I might use, and the concepts we want to cover. We need to decide exactly who the participants will be, but I think we are going to include staff, parents and some of the youth from St Michael’s who want to get involved, as well as the disabled themselves. This will be an interesting mix, and ought to be a good time for all of us. It will probably be five or six weeks long, so we can talk about the way Jesus refused to blame the blind man or his parents for his disability (which is a big deal here.) There is a lot to share, and I am eager to get it organized enough to send a plan to Dr Malone, my teacher for the indigenous theologizing class.
There was also another really cool thing that happened! I had gone to the Spar Grocery Store at RiverWalk, and the manager, Maurice, came up to me and wanted to hear my whole story. He also wanted to see any artwork I had with me, so I pulled out a couple of cards that were in my backpack. He told me that he has seen me in there a lot, and how much he loved my "positive attitude and bright smile." He knows I am a Christian, and he is too. But he had not thought much about how the disabled fit into God’s plan. He said he would like to display my work (good thing I brought some of the large prints!) at the store along with some of his friends’ artwork. Then we got talking about how the disabled are so often hidden away at home, so that few people get a chance to know what they can do. He said he wants to contact Cheshire and other places and schools for the disabled and have other disabled people bring their artwork, their music, and their other talents to share. He wants to have a whole Saturday that focuses on the disabled and their needs and their abilities! He even wants to contact the media for this event! This is too cool, huh?!
Another opportunity to talk about the Lord came when I was with Tshegofatso Bogacu, whom I mentioned in my last blog. I had been rethinking my decision to participate in the Fundraiser walk for Cheshire, because it was outside of Gaborone and the walkers needed to be there at 6:00 am on Saturday the 25.th I was not sure if I was going to be able to get a taxi ride at that hour on a Saturday morning. Sandy had an engagement at 9:00, so she could not participate in the event with me. I told Tshegofatso on the Sunday before that I was worried about how I was going to do this. She told me that she’d be happy to take me, since she and her boyfriend would be walking as well. She said that she would pick me up around 5:30 am so we would all arrive in time for the walk. I was so glad for her help, and I’m glad I went.
My day began at 5:00 when I woke up and had Sandy help me get showered and ready for my 5:30 pick-up. Tshegofatso came with her boyfriend, Tshepiso Sasa Molelekeng, who gently helped me get into the large red car, and we headed off to the walk. Here is where some great God-talk happened. As we were driving along the dimly lit road, Tshegofatso and I started a discussion about Lent and what it meant to each of us. We both have the same understanding that Lent means a time to emptying ourselves of "junk," and to be more open to God who wants to fill us with more and more of himself. It is a time when some people commit themselves to fasting from various food such as chocolate, meat, soda, or wheat products, while others choose to give up certain types of things like Facebook, anger at others, or resentfulness. It’s not just about giving up something, although that can remind us of what we are really doing - but also taking on, or making room for something else, like patience or being willing to forgive. I told Tshegofatso that I’m giving up my habit of getting so easily irritated with myself about the things I struggle to do, or when there is something that really is difficult to understand how to resolve, (such as the situation Sandy and I have had with hired help, for instance!) I shared that when I do this, let go and stop being annoyed with myself because I can’t resolve everything by myself, or do everything for myself, or make everything "work," I end up being more open. Then I am more able to see and to understand more clearly what God is trying to teach me. She told me that she has made the hard decision to deliberately love others more carefully than she usually does. She says that sometimes this is very difficult for her to do. She explained to me that when she chooses this way that this makes her feel like she is closer to God (who is Love) and to see that we are called to love and value every human being, even when it’s difficult at times. We both thought how important Lent is to us, and that it really does help us become more aware of our relationship with our Lord and Savior. I told her how it helps us cry out to the Lord for help when we really see ourselves this way, and that it makes us see that we cannot do anything apart from Him. As we were talking I thought to myself, how often we do forget how much God loves us, and wants us to be closer to Him. It’s like, "yes, I know all this" and, "I have already heard this a thousand times before in the many conversations I’ve had with friends"…and yet I still forget how important it is, to not just hear it but to obey it so I can this experience it again and again. I remember the hymn that many of us have grown up with, "I have decided to follow Jesus." It originated in a tribe in my birth-country, India where new believers were being severely persecuted. My mom told me that there is a verse we don’t sing in English. I loved it and think it is particularly powerful. "Though I may wonder, I still will follow. Though I may wonder, I still will follow. No turning back...No turning back.." I think I am sometimes uneasy admitting that I do sometimes really wonder what God is doing, worrying about it, and then not being excited to see what is coming next. When I wonder, I don’t always trust Him. I think I need to KNOW. But it is true, even when we "wonder" and aren’t sure what is going on, we still want to be able to sing, "No turning back, no turning back." I think that’s why Lent is so important. To think that if I had been too shy to ask for help getting there, I’d have missed the walk, which was great for me and gave me a chance to meet so many others who are interested in the disabled - and I would have missed this very valuable conversation and a great opportunity to keep building a friendship with a young woman whom I enjoy and admire.
Anyway, the walk was wonderful and long. It gets hot so early in the day that we needed to get it underway very early. There were more than 200 people who participated in the walk, including many of the youth from St. Michael’s. Since we started so early, the weather was nice and cool for the whole hour and a half walk. Tshegofatso’s boyfriend, Tshepiso, pushed me the whole way, for which I was very grateful! There are just things I can’t do at all here without assistance. In the US I’d have just grabbed my electric chair and "done it myself!" But this is good. I am learning how to allow myself to be dependent when I need to be so that I don’t miss anything God has for me here. Tshepiso told me that it was a great experience for him, too, and that he also enjoyed it as much as Tshgofatso and I did. I had a lot of fun with the youth, trying my choppy Setswana with them. It’s getting better all the time, thanks to everyone who is willing to repeat words over and over for me! I’m glad I went, and I feel like my relationships are growing with the young people, with my new friends, even with strangers who were there to help out other disabled people.
On another note, last Wednesday we had to let Ntebeleng go. That was very hard for me. I like her a lot, but she just wasn’t doing the work we had hired her to do. We got some really good help from the Anglican Women’s Fellowship about how to do it in a culturally appropriate way, so that she would not lose face. We did not want to hurt her, and we did not want to let her think that we do not like her, but Sandy and I just needed someone else to work for us. We are in the process now of finding a replacement, or, really two different part time people, one to work with me and one to do the housework.
There’s an older woman, Elsie, who will probably work out to do the cleaning. She is very careful with that kind of work, but she is an older woman who because of her age and physical condition can’t possibly work with me.
We think we have another person for me, though. There’s a young woman named Kamohelo who seems interested in the job. She’s good at beadwork, and I am interested in jewelry making as well. She’s nearer to my age and might turn out to be a pretty good companion, especially since Sandy is helping me get ready in the morning so she won’t have to do anything like that. I just met her yesterday, but Sandy has known her since she arrived last year, so we will see if this works out.
There’s just one more thing I want to share this week. Father Amanze, my supervisor, set up a meeting for Sandy and me at the Office of the President of Botswana where we met for over an house with a former theological student of Father Amanze’s. Thomas Timmy Motingwa has been appointed by the President of Botswana as Coordinator of the Disability Unit for the country. Imagine what it can mean to have a committee Christian in this job! We had a great time, and he asked me to serve on his national disability committee until I leave in July. This was just amazing. He hopes I will have time to speak to others about what it means for the disabled to be seen ad real people with needs and gifts. Of course, for me (and for him) this truth comes from Scripture, form creation itself, so it will always be a time of telling the truth about God’s love and power, and denying that evil spirits or evil behavior on the part of our parents, made us the way we are. This message is so needed her. And the freedom that comes from it can make a real difference. One day Dr Frost, my ICS professor in Bolivar, commented that my disability IS my "platform." It is the gift I have been given by which I can share the love and the purposes of God, the great salvation of Jesus Christ and the power of the Spirit of God over all others spirits. I see more and more how that is exactly the truth.
Okay - I think that is all I can write for now.
Ke o Rata (I love you)!
Minda