THE HELP

March 11, 2012

Dumalang, my wonderful friends!

Well the beginning of the week was definitely the most difficult time I’ve had since I’ve been here. Finding the right sort of hired help, someone who can help me physically throughout the week and also be a companion and language tutor has been a very unpleasant struggle. After I had to fire Ntebeleng on the last day of February because she just wasn’t getting the work done for either of us, Sandy and I started looking for someone new. As I mentioned in my last blog, Elsie ended up being a better cleaning lady than she was helper for me. So we did hire her for that and she is working out very well indeed! But after realizing that Elsie wasn’t going to manage for me, we started looking around again. Sandy knew a young woman, just 21 years old, looking for a job. I met her a week ago on Saturday, and we got along just fine. She’s a jewelry-maker, and she told me that she would be happy to show me how to make some of the beaded things she makes. She was eager also to help me with Setswana. However, when she didn’t show up either Monday or Tuesday, it became obvious that either she did not take the job very seriously in the first place, or that she just didn’t quite understand how much I needed her to be regular and dependable.

Whatever the reason, it left me back at square one! Our internet is down completely at the flat which did not help the matter at all. I was having trouble contacting anyone here (we use facebook and email in Botswana too, you know!)
I got pretty discouraged and by Tuesday morning I had a minor meltdown - I had places I needed to go – and no helper showed up! I was in the middle of doing my laundry, and I kept thinking that there was something wrong and that the “something” was probably me. I went through things that I thought I might have said wrong, worried about whether it was because they have to help me to the bathroom, or whether it was just too hard for them to be seen with me in public, etc. I was literally ready to cry, and I felt upset for myself, and also bad for Sandy because of all the time she was putting into helping me resolve this, using time to she needed to do her own work. And yet nothing was working out with hiring the right “help.”

It’s been a real inconvenience to both of us; Sandy cannot be my help as well as taking care of her own duties! And we are friends first, not helper and employer! So I didn’t want to make that relationship hard for her or for me. Needless to say I was not in the most positive of moods. It was just one of those moments when I felt the frustration of having a disability, and not being able to fix it. If I didn’t have this disability I would never have the issue of having to find someone to help me with my personal needs. I could just, “Do it myself!” Of course, I had to remember that it is because of my disability that I am even here – that I have something to SAY to these people about the faithfulness of God! And then I felt bad all over again because I could see I was just feeling sorry for myself and not trusting God even though I know He can be trusted. So it was one of those moments in which I had to cry out to the Lord and say, “O Father help me!”

It was in this moment that I mentally turned to Psalm 23: The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters. He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness For His name’s sake. I had to just accept that this was one of those dark valleys that I will have to walk, well, roll, through… but I WILL roll through it. And he WILL be with me. So I dried my eyes and began again.
We asked Mma Florence from the Anglican Women’s Fellowship to help us find someone else, and on the same day I got a call from Doctor Howard Moffat, saying that he knew of a Motswana lady who once worked at Princess Marina Hospital as a nurse’s assistant and was now looking for another job. Her name was Monica, in her late 40’s. She actually received her education in Zimbabwe before there were many good schools in Botswana. .

But Mma Florence had found a woman too, who could work for me, named Esther. So now I had a different problem – TWO possible helpers! I would have to choose one of them. Again, “Lord, help me!”
On Thursday I decided to have Monica come over for the morning, and have her work with me, helping me get prepared for the day, and practicing taking me to Riverwalk – Since so much happens there, this is an essential! Then in the afternoon, I asked Esther to come and I’d just do the whole process over again. That way I could make a wiser decision.

Well, Monica came at about 8 o’clock on Thursday morning and having been a nurse’s assistant for 20 years she had no problem at all falling right into the flow of helping me with showering and dressing. She was also very good at handling the wheelchair, and being a well built, strong woman she had no difficulty lifting the chair over bumps or steps, even with the groceries we’d bought hanging on the back! She was also quite interested in helping me improve my Setswana, correcting me from the beginning, working on everything – making me say things exactly correctly – from greetings, buying food in the store, introducing myself and just talking to people. She’s really wanting me to learn it right. She’s tall, with broad shoulders and a beautiful round face. Not only that, she is really bright, which is very helpful. She can figure out what to do quickly. She left around 11:30, and then Esther came in at around 12 o’clock.

Esther was an older woman in her mid-sixties, also tall but pretty thin; very beautiful. I liked her right away. She did not have the broad shoulders that Monica did, nor was she as strong as Monica. But she was certainly strong enough to lift the chair over the steps in and out of the flat. So I wasn’t sure what to do. Her English is not as good as Monica’s either, which was good because it forced me to speak more, but on the other hand it made things a bit more difficult when it came to explaining: “You need to just position yourself beside the chair while providing some support for my arms as I lift myself off…” My biggest concern was the fact that she is a diabetic. That made me a little uncomfortable, because I wasn’t sure how she would manage physically in the long run when we are not always able to eat regularly because of our schedule. Her age, I have to admit, was another concern to me because I felt that she would get tired very quickly and maybe have trouble in the heat now, and the cold by June and July.

At the end of the day I had to make the decision – But who did I want to officially hire? I enjoyed my time with each of them immensely, both of them could help me now, and both would be good for language learning. So the decision was not an easy one to make, and I didn’t much like being in this position.
But the fact that Monica was younger, was healthy and more physically fit finally made me choose her. I didn’t like having to tell Esther that she was not getting the job, but she seemed okay with it and showed no hard feelings.

Monica came the next morning right on time, and helped me get ready without having to be told anything. She remembered the routine almost perfectly. When we got to St Peter’s, it was obvious that she enjoyed the children and they seemed to enjoy her a lot as well. At the same time, she was watchful to see if I needed her, left me alone when I didn’t and came immediately if I did. She is very aware.

At the moment, the 4 year old children are learning about the human body and that day they were studying feet. The activity was putting their feet in paint then putting feet to the paper! I helped wash their feet when they were finished putting them in the paint. It was so much fun watching the children squeal with delight when they saw their foot print in red or blue paint! I probably was giggling harder than all the children put together! Monica was flashing pictures wildly until my camera battery died - Oh, well – I MUST remember to charge the thing!
What was a lot of fun was to watch her interact with Gladys Mudereri, the director. They are both well- educated and sharp! They have a lot in common, so Monica was enjoying herself even when I didn’t need her. Once they got talking they didn’t stop! So, I think this is all for the better.

I saw something I hadn’t really understood before, and this week has really helped me to realize it. For more than a week I’ve been praying, and looking for, The Help for my personal needs. (That’s a terrific book, by the way.) I needed to hire a person who could assist me in my daily activities while I’m here. I can’t go anywhere, or do much of anything here without The Help. We are always talking around here about “hiring help,” or referring to “the help,” but I suddenly saw that I was actually talking to THE HELP – in all capitals! The whole time! He is the one who gives us life, opens doors and windows, and prepares us for fresh starts and new beginnings, and who makes us clean each day. He is really what I need. When I cry for help, He is always there to answer. God is THE HELP who will never go away nor get tired or lazy or try to manipulate me or the situation. God is, and will always be here! Always it is GOD!

Okay, so I knew that. But now I KNOW it differently. So now I can sing again, happily, “Great is thy faithfulness!”

Ke o Rata (I love you)!
Minda